"It's just one of those days, that a girl goes through"
- Monica
I am teeming on the brink of pissed off. My disclaimer is that I am emo because of my predisposed female condition, so forgive me if I sound b*tchy or otherwise, whiny. Seriously though, it has been more than a month since I met with DJ OK - who is supposed to be my main producer. Everytime I ask him to set some dates and times for us to get back to work to move closer to finishing my CD he's got some excuse:
1st: I just started working and can only do nights.
- I've been working and have only been able to work nights since we started working together, pushing my otherwise 40 hour work weeks to 70+...but I understand, you're new to this cube-life and you need time to adjust. Although, when you only work from 1p-6p I find it hard to sympathize.
2nd: I'm moving and gotta take care of apartment issues, ect.
- I feel that, DJ. You are getting your grown man on, moving out on your own. I'll give you time and space, I understand what that's like. Although I do recall moving into my apartment back in October with no furniture, sleeping on the floor with my first big concert two days later. But er'body ain't like me - I have to remind myself of that.
3rd: We can't use the studio because Hilsyde is recording and none of my equipment is set up at my spot
- Well let's get it together. At this point I am starting to feel as though I'm not a priority. I understand life circumstances, but I don't understand not trying.
4th: No, we can't set a date to meet this week cus we are recording someone for
money and I don't know when it's going to be yet.
- This after I emailed him dates for the next two weeks that I am available to get some work done. At ths point, I am getting really peeved because all I've been hearing are excuses, excuses, excuses. I understand the paper chase and trying to make a living out of this music thing - but because I'm not paying, it seems that us working together isn't time well spent.
5th: Even if we record, I don't have time to mix.
- Fine, let's just start recording and I'll come up with the money to pay a mixer.
6th: We should just create to have more songs to choose from for the album.
- Well we don't have but one song completed. Why would I want to move forward when we haven't completed anything yet and I can't even get into the studio with you to create?
At this point, I am questioning his committment to this project. At one point he had 4 songs on the album, hands down. But with my other producers making themselves available and wanting to work, he's losing ground. More and more I am feeling like he thinks he's doing me a favor, instead of us being creative partners. As far as I am concerned actions speak louder than words.
Oh and to top if off, the icing on the cake:
- So you said your lawyer friend has a hook up at Def Jam, right? Do you think you could get some tracks to her for me?
HELL.TO.THE.NAW. - you can't come up with the time to work with me, but you have the nerve to ask for a favor to hook you up?
Like the Roots said "it don't feel right."