Friday, December 23, 2005

The Fly On The Wall presents...

The fly on the wall presents...

entry 2: december 22, 2005

shoot, darn, muthasucka?

when d’angelo said it, it was art. let a young lady say it and it’s – well – last week’s posting. so it’s no longer a secret that i have no problem inserting an expletive here and there. necessary, i feel, to emphasize a point in a story,, any other time i feel like it? but i have recently been re-informed (i must’ve forgotten) that it is unattractive when a woman uses swear words in casual conversation. mind you, it’s not like i was goin all lil’ kim on a dude, but i guess sweet nothings aren’t as sweet when you plug a “shit”, “damn”, “muthafucka” in the middle of it (unless you have abs like a god and a smooth beat backing the statement). granted, our crooning friend d just caught his girl in bed with his best friend, but you can’t TELL me that you never caught yourself singin along to the chorus like it was gospel (reality check: later in the song, he’s talkin bout killin ol’ boy and wifey)...but i digress.

we’re talking here, about what makes a lady a LADY. apparently, on the richter scale of ladylike-ness, the regular use of a curse word here and there will bring you down a few notches. again, i’m not talking vulgarity on the level of trina, but in casual conversation (i.e. “this shit is inappropriate,” “why must you be such an ass,” “i fucked up...fuck!”). that’s ok, right? one man protests, “that type of language should be left to use for athletes, sailors and rappers.” because what men really want is a lady in the street and a lady in...the...bed?

ten men protest.

ohhhh, so you’re saying the BR is neutral territory. o.k., well it’s good to know the first amendment remains safe and unscathed somewhere in this great nation of ours. i’m not pulling this out of my bum people (somehow, just doesn’t sound the same). using my very accurate, very random, very indiscriminate polling techniques...i text messaged some of the homies to gain further insight on the issue:

question: is it unladylike/unattractive for a woman to cuss?

  • 1 said no, 1 said HELL no
  • 5 said it depends (ok to use for emphasis, during an emotional outburst)
  • 7 said yes, it is unladylike (although an exception was given to the lady with “kids and a gold grill”...noted)

the question that followed: would it be ok in the bedroom?

  • 1 said yeah, 1 said HELL yeah
  • 4 out 5 of the “depends” say its ok and reference their previous examples
  • 6 of the “yes” answers failed to respond (and that says it all)
  • 2 wanted examples (umm...k, research ends here)

POINT is, none of us are channeling foxy brown in our regularly scheduled communication with others, but gosh darnit if a lady don’t feel like expressing herself sometimes too. it’s hard enough for women today to live up to the standards of what it means to be a lady (standards not set by a lady, mind you) without adding “maintaining a clean vocabulary” to the list of proper hygiene practices. sure there is “another way to say what you need to say,” as he (the informer) put it. which seems to be just another way of saying, “know your place, lady.” and to this intention i say – legs crossed, elbows off the table, laughing ever so slightly – bump that, because i CHOOSE to.


Blogger Elle B. said...

I can't help that I cuss, I think I actually enjoy it - I feel Beauvoir would be proud.

Really doe, I am a wordsmith, meaning I pick and choose my words wisely - thus by logical progression I've found the way I need to say what I want to say. F*ck the others. lol, sorry.

*I understand not everyone is ready for that - plus I think profanity is better said than read - except of course when the fly on the wall uses it*


1:13 AM  
Blogger nosthegametoo said...

Interesting points.

I think it comes down to how you present yourself. If you're presenting yourself as a traditional "lady" then folks will judge you that way.

It's not really different for a man. If you present yourself as a traditional "man" you'll be judged that way too.

I think most people want it all... to get that traditional respect, and go contemporary and be outside of those constraints at the same time. But like anything else, you can't have it all. Nobody thinks they have to choose.

8:39 PM  
Blogger nosthegametoo said...

Merry Christmas!!

8:39 PM  
Anonymous blaqqsoul said...

I know no one asked....but personally I think cursing is simply rude and unpleasant....don't get me wrong...I cuss my damn self...but I am trying to kick the habit.....we can find other words....swearing never means anything positive....and we need to rid the world of as much negativity as we can.....and i have a daughter and if any motherfather swears arounf my little gurl is gonna be urinating through a tube.....believe go elle your music is amazing ;)

1:17 AM  
Anonymous the fly... said...

it's cool blaqqsoul, no one needs to ask here. good to express your POV too...i may be an aries but i'm not too hard headed to hear other people's opinions :)

6:06 PM  

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