Wednesday, February 22, 2006

You Run The Risk...

Up until now, I've never been offended by any comment left on my blog. But this morning as I checked my email, I saw this message.

You run the risk of hearing things that you don't like when you share extremely personal information with a world full of strangers, ...but somehow, the tone of this comment has rubbed me the wrong way. It could be the anonymity of the blogger with his or her judgemental tone or it could be that somehow I feel as I though this is someone I know...either way - I felt a bit attacked.

The only thing I have to say in response is that I am not perfect - I don't profess to be. And I may not handle every situation with as much maturity and rationale as I'd like to - or others think I should - but I try to deal with every situation and grow from it. I am not yet the woman I want to be, but I am working towards it everyday - sometimes I'll falter and sometimes I'll succeed with grace, but I am trying. And every mirror has two faces just like every situation.

Comment left my an anonymous Blogger regarding this post...

"damn, this is hella perspective"
The loss of a true friendship IS a tragedy, but one asks the question, "what is a true friendship?" Do you define your relationship with this person a TRUE friendship as you put it. A true friendship is one that regardless of anything that takes place you are able to reconcile. Pride should not be an issue at any point. Everyone has some level of pride, but when someone is going through the painful journey of a family member struggling with an chronic illness everything becomes a blur, including friends. It takes the persistence of TRUE friends to provide support for their friend. The pain of losing or possibly losing your mother and best friend can cripple most people. Others may become emotionally isolated. I don't know what took place in this situation, but it seems as though you were truly selfish when it came to reaching out to your TRUE friend. If this were your true friend, your pride would not be an issue. You would understand that your friend is in pain and make somewhat of an attempt to forgive and forget regardless of what took place. This is difficult to do, but it takes a selfless and caring person to do something so unselfish. I would ask the question, how many true friends do you have? From what I can tell from this blog is that you are indicating how important your feelings are as opposed to your alleged true friend. Do you even know how she feels? Take the time to ask yourself, was this friend there for you in your time of need or crisis, which everyone has? There are times in all of our lives when we need the comfort and solace of someone who understands completely, and for some reason, continues to help us when we are at our worst, perhaps even exhausting them. You have to understand that feelings of anger, frustration, sadness, and being overwhelmed can alter a friendship, but it takes understanding and effort to overlook these things. To me, a true friend understands. Not the kinds that say they will be there for you and then are purposely. They are the kind that say they’ll be there, then are, and amaze you with how devoted they really are. Going through a time of crisis reveals who your real friends are. But your real, true, friends are the ones who come through with flying colors, when you do not even have to ask. I realize that an attempt to contact your friend was quite difficult given the circumstances, but one call and a voicemail to me is simply not enough for a TRUE FRIEND who is mourning the loss or possible loss of a mother and best friend. I do not mean to seem harsh, but I am putting this into Perspective. If I were your alleged TRUE FRIEND, I would feel disappointed and somewhat betrayed that at this time of need and pain you put your feelings ahead of mine and could not go out of your way, putting 110% into being there for your friend. If the reasons for the fallen out are unidentifiable, what is holding you back. How would you feel if your mother was on her deathbed and ended up passing away, but your true friend did not go out of her way to make you feel supported and loved. Reflect on this as it might save or preserve some true friendships that you currently have. Just a thought....

Posted by Anonymous to ElleB-dom: Diva In Training at 2/22/2006 12:43:03 AM

*I am almost certain I know this person.*


Blogger Vandy said...


9:03 AM  
Blogger Berry said...

I'm lost...what is this in response to?

10:14 AM  
Blogger Elle B. said...

Sorry Berry this is the link Perspective

10:22 AM  
Blogger Rell said...

Dang, Blog land man it's weird. You know people really well but at the same time you don't.

The dichotomy is so strange...

11:52 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

You made the effort to reach out to someone in pain despite having a strained/non-existant relationship with them...that was big of you and a lot of people wouldn't cast their pride aside no matter what this person (who appears to know you) says.

2:58 PM  
Blogger Berry said...

Considering I don't know the details of the situation, I can not stand in judgment...perhaps that person is someone who does know. If they were a "true" friend they would have been able to say this to you in person and not anonymously on the blog.

6:45 PM  

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