Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Driving In the Middle of the Road...

I have been. It's strange too. At first, I thought it was the car that I was driving. While on my trip in NY, I had several studio sessions in New Jersey. So after pulling a 24 hour day, I manned the wheel of my my hosts E-Class on the Jersey Turnpike, headed back to Long Island at 5am. I thought it was a mix of fatigue and fear of big rigs pummelling down the highway at 80mphs that was the root of the problem. Driving in the between the two lanes afforded me the security that I could quickly pick a lane were a trucker come to close. I didn't want to crash such a beautiful car.

But, I've been home for two days now and 2 outta 2 days I've found myself driving in the middle of the road. Unconsciously - but still somehow with a feeling of entitlement. The other drivers will have to go as fast or slow as I chose because I dominate the road.

A trip, right? Yeah - well I've finally realized what it is. Before I left on my vacation to NY, I found out that that I had lost my day-job and was put on 60 days notice. This is something that had been looming for a while and I had a feeling I'd get the axe (being so junior and have a position created for me less than a year prior). But the realization hit much harder than I had anticipated and I was kinda freaked.

I had speculated what I might do, as I knew I'd be given some type of severance package, because after all, I wasn't being fired - I was just "re-organized" out of my jobs. Such is life, right? So although mentally, I was prepared, emotionally I was lagging behind. Losing my job with eight weeks paid salary after my last day provides me with the window of opportunity I was looking for. But financially, it's extremly risky and I don't think I'm truly ready for the lifestyle change. Alternatively, I've been encouraged to apply to new positions within the organization which would give me a signifant pay increase and could provide the resources to save and pay down debt in order to make the leap.

I'm not yet sure what to do.

*what do you think*


Anonymous bryan l. said...

I think I know what you're talking because I've faced a similar situation before. You have to do whatever it is that's going to make you happy. Look at it like this: consider the path you're on right now. Think about where it's taking you in say, the next 5 years. Then ask yourself if you're okay with that. If you're not okay with where your current path is taking you, change it. Also, here's a thought on the concept of "risk" -- sometimes you have to accept a little risk in order to get where you want to be. Many of the world's most successful people had to take a risk at some point in order to get to the next level.

8:59 AM  

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