Monday, November 14, 2005

The Lunacy of Email Macking

In the digital age there are many ways for lonely hearts to find companionship. Conventionally meeting someone in a bar has been replaced by chatrooms and websites, like Friendster, MySpace, TheFacebook which are little more than cespools of horny people trying to find someone who will join them in whatever it is they are looking for. And there are the explicit online dating communities like eHarmony or or Lavalife whose sole purpose is to match up "person looking for." The options are endless. I myself prefer the face to face connection that can only happen - well face to face. In a bar, at the bookstore, at a get together of a mutual friend. Call me old fashion. And well, I just have an aversion to cyber dating. I did the high school chat thing - where I lucked out -because me "friend" was actually who he said he was. Another 14 year old in Los Angeles with a similar background. On the chance that I didn't meet a weirdo, it also turned out that we ended up meeting each other in person, at my Aunt's wedding reception. His mother at the time was dating my cousin (my aunt's son) and as a result he ended up with an invite to the affair. We fell out of contact a short while later...had something to do with internet access and my parent's fear that I would meet some weirdo online. But since then, I've given it up - no more chat room pimping for me.

More recently, I've been engrossed in the phenomenon that is An online community that connects college coeds (and now hs students) through a social network of friends, classes and other random things. On this Facebook contraption is the ability to send private messages to people in your network...or more commonly, by chance view a picture of a cute him/her in someone else's friend "network" and begin to harrass, I mean, try to get know them better. Well I've had the distinct pleasure of becoming a victim of Email Macking one too many times. For the guys who live in Ohio or Nebraska or Georgia or someplace like that...they have no choice but to send a message. I typically don't respond to unsolicited messages that start out with "Girl, you looking good, can I call you sometime..." Um, no. But for the guy who I go to school with (used to anyways, now that I've graduated), and see at any "Black" event, who prefers to ask me out via "email" on is a definite no no. There was one particular fellow who is "Greek" and fancies the Krimson and Kreme *cough* who at a step show gave me a carnation in KAPsi fashion right in front of my boyfriend (ex) - who fancies the Black and Gold. Not too much later...with all the audacity to make a public display on the "yard" he decided to ask me out on the facebook. Not once, or twice, or even three times. But 4 times - when I still was with my *ex*boo. I never responded to him, because well Kappas aren't really my style you see. But what's more I am the loyal type, so no stepping *pun intended* out on my boo. But more fundamentally, i'ont respond to EMAIL MACKING. Here are a couple of reason why you shouldn't either:

1. EMAIL MACKING (esp through a PM) requires no effort, but the calories expended to write the message. And since most of them are not original, no brain power is used to type a heart felt message. Who knows how many he's sending that day.
2. EMAIL MACKING shows a lack of tenacity. See, either the sender is lazy or lacks confidence. And unless you like the I'm-Not-A-Go-Getter type...a response to this kind of message is telling him that you are fine with a McDonald's dinner and paying your own way into a movie.
3. EMAIL MACKING will finish how you start....An email for why the date was cancellled, an email on why he can't call you *My Minutes - what about my internet bill?* or a email message telling you why he's upset *assuming you get far enough into a relationship that there is a fight/disagreement involved* or the email on why things are not working out. If you treasure human contact or even appreciate the timbre in a human voice - avoid EMAIL MACKING, because it'll leave you doomed to your inbox.

I guess you may be wondering what prompted this post...I was in the grocery store buying my sick roomate some Ginger Ale. As I walk into the store this man passes me and whispers in my ear..."you're beautiful." Since we both were in motion and I could feign deafness. because there was no evident connection between my ear and his words, I ignore it. Not that I'm mean, but the brotha had finger waves and was wearing a bright red button down shirt that looked like it came from Rick James' closet. So I proceed to the Soft Drink Section and find the bottle on sale *$.99..."yesss!" (c) Napolean Dynamite* and steadily make my way to the checkout. The Express Lane is slow as hell, so I delve back into the new novel that I am reading. When I look up to see that an even longer line has amassed behind me, I am instantly irritated by the fact that Da Bishop's Magic Don Juan's brother, Rickety James. is standing in line right behind me. I try to act like I don't see him standing there, but he catches my eye and remarks "must be a good book." I reply "yes" and go back into "reading." By the time the clerk is scanning my ONE item, my not-conversation with Rickety James has escalated against my will:

RJ "What industry are you in?
Elle B "Banking"
RJ"You look like you'd be in the arts"
Elle B."No"
*ha, lucky guess guy I think as I give him this look like please back away*
RJ"Just Kidding*pause*You look like you could be a model...You have the height for it"
Elle B *not sure what to say* "Thank You"
RJ"I Put on shows twice a year to support a youth organization"
Elle B *I say nothing-----pulling the money out of my pocket to expedite this trip*
RJ*opening his wallet "I don't have any cards on me"
Elle B*Great, so this will minimize the risk of accidently touching you as I politely take a "business" card from you*
RJ*as I am walking away now* "So what do you think?"
Elle B."I'm not really interested in modeling, thank you tho'"
RJ" How about I give you my email?"
Elle B"UGH......"

Rickety James wasn't gonna stop until I was out of site. I was actually happy that the clerk was slow in checking people out because I could increase the distance between me and this man. And his EMAIL MACKING attempt. And this is what prompted the above post. Based on my responses, he knew that I would never take his number, nor could he successfully attain mines. The default is email. If you've ever been a victim of EMAIL MACKING you've noticed, there is something about email that make MACKING seem simpler. It carries the hope that somehow the senders' words will be charming enough to negate all of the things this person would be avoided for were you to meet them in person. My KAPsi guy knew he didn't have a chance because I was in a relationship, so he EMAIL MACKED instead. And Rickety James thought I might succumb to his petition were he to give me his email instead of asking for my number or other contact information. Either way, when EMAIL MACKING is attempted attempted avoid it at all costs, because whoever it is that is vying for you attention, is probably just the person you'd reject in person.

Have you been EMAIL MACKED before?
Are you an EMAIL MACKER?

*Have a good day*


Anonymous Anonymous said...



12:13 AM  

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