Monday, October 31, 2005

USC Homecoming...came and went but it's all about SHOWING UP!

USC Homecoming was this past weekend and it was cool. There was minor drama, but such is life. Really, this weekend answered this question for me: Who are my real friends? In the last couple of months of undergrad, the was tons and tons of drama with females who WERE my friends. I was so stressed out that I got a muscle spasm in my lower back the last week of classes and couldn't walk for two days. I've been in love before and I've gotten my heart broken once too. But I assure you, there was no pain greater than having the beef that I did with these girls. I am an only girl, meaning..I have no blood sisters - so I take my friendships with my girlfriends seriously. By nature, I am loyal, extremely loyal, and probably too nice to a fault. I won't go into details on how things all started - the beginning of the end. I'll just end with the end - this year's homecoming. I've relinquished my hurt feelings, there's no need to harbor them. I refuse to have an ulcer or another back spasm on account of pettiness and selfishness. But being faced with one of the major culprits and have her completely ignore me (I don't even know why she is beefing with me at all), proved one thing to me: I am better off by myself. Now, I am not friendless...I just have few friends. But I am okay with this, particularly because I think I am a special person and people have to be worth the loyalty that I grant - or simply to receive the best of me. Nor am I a loner, USC Homecoming also proved this to me...I know ALOT of people and I used to feel saddend by the fact that I know so many folks but felt no connection to them. Now it's okay! Easy come and easy go..the smiles are but for a moment but they are fleeting. But the test of true friendship is will people show up for you! And as I embark on my career, its so important that I recognize those FRIENDS who continue to show up for me under all circumstances...not just when they think I'm hot. More and more people have been asking me about the Elle B. project..."Yo, I heard your show was great" "When can I get a cd?" ect, ect. That's all well and good, but these same people had my name in their mouth,..when bullshit ass drama was going down at the end of senior year. AA said it best, "they made you look crazy Boogie"and that may be true, but now they are crazy trying to be down! It's all good. I know I am sensitive, but I've got a lot of bravado...which is what I'll need in this industry. My boi DJ, Columbia Graduate, would always sign at the bottom of his emails "It's lonely at the top" that's were I plan to be sooner than later. But I don't plan to be lonely, there will only be a few. But I've realized that despite all of the people I'm surrounded by and will be surrounded by the in future, there are just a few who I will call my true friends. But I'm cool with that.

*Shout outs: LB(family), SH, SD, MA, JQ, LT, AA, GV, SC, VN, BW, OK, MM*

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